i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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