dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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