Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My bed smells like the plague
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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