Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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