I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
