I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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