she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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