I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
