Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
