i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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