She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We need to rekindle our bromance
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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