I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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