Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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