hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
