you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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