check it out our google latitudes are spooning
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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