my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
