before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
