Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
