i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I faked an abortion last night.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
