i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
