She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
