doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
