i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
