At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
