but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
