I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize