I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
