the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
