Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
