the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
