i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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