My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
