do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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