Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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