the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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