All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
