i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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