no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
did i just pee glitter
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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