I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
