i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I looked at my own cervix.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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