I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize