so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
