i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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