Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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