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he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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