Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
