Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
