dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
