I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
