Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
