Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize