she woke up with a sticky ear
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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