Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize