found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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