Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we're making bets on your personal life
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
