Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
