so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
