Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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