why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
