found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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